Wow!

So often in life, things don’t live up to the billing that they have been given. You know how it is, one of your friends may tell you that you have to see a certain movie, and then after you have seen it, you feel like you wasted precious time in your life that you can never get back. Well, that is an especially horrible way to feel after you have shelled out money for a trip to a tourist site, so we were hoping against hope that the floating market, elephant trekking, and cobra show was as advertised.
We were picked up at 0630 at a local hotel by a minivan for the hour and a half trip to the floating market. About half way thru the journey I realized that this must be a really popular tour because the padding on the seats on the minivan was totally worn out by all of the people who have gone before us. I have sat on concrete that was more comfortable. After we arrived at the market, the posterior pain gradually subsided. What really helped this was the fact that we were too busy gawking at the spectacular views to worry about residual discomfort. After getting out of the van, we boarded a fantailed boat to get to the floating market. As we were cruising along, we saw several big monitor lizards, and a few monkeys. What was amazing about this to me was that these are animals that I have only seen before on animal shows on TV, and we were seeing them right amidst homes in which people live. These people are as used to seeing these animals as we are to seeing cats and dogs. The river that holds wonder for us is as normal and commonplace as a street. Wow! They even wash the clothes and dishes right in the river. After a short trip in the fantailed boat, we finally arrived at the floating market. Once there we were presented with a choice. We could wander around the docks and look at the shops, or we could rent another boat and do it from the water. We opted for option number two. What fun would the floating market be from the ground?
What is a floating market? Just as the name implies, people load various goods onto canoes, and float down the river selling them. In times past, this was the main method of trading goods in this area. With the blossoming of tourism in Thailand, they began to replace the everyday goods with trinkets and do-dads that tourists around the world always crave. They could fetch a much better price for “authentic, hand crafted” Thai goods than for fruits and veggies. I guess we can call this applied capitalism abroad. Other than just knick-knacks, they also sold food from these boats. We ordered sticky rice and mango, which was absolutely delicious. We rented the boat for a half hour, and it was well worth it. Part one, lived up to the hype.
After leaving the market, we went to the elephant village. Since my close encounter with an elephant in China, I have wanted to have the opportunity to get up-close and personal with another one. For a small fee (about $20 US), we were able to ride one. The elephant we rode was a 35 year old female. She was also pregnant. She and our guide had been together for five years. Elephants and their handlers form a close bond, which is important if a man is going to control the largest land animal in the world. Even though we know that elephants are immense animals, when you are standing next to one, it makes you really understand how small man truly is. It was an amazing experience to ride her, if only for a half hour. Wow was how we felt afterwards. Part two also did not disappoint.
From the elephant village we took a short 10 minute journey to the cobra show. Melissa, Jeff, and Amanda all decided to pass on it, but I have always been fascinated with cobras, so I was drawn to the show like a moth to a flame. The snake handlers were all dressed like they were members of the “Cobra Kai” dojo. I kept expecting someone to say “sweep the leg, Johnny” (If you get that reference, please let me know in a comment). Anyway, I sat in the front row and watched those guys do the absolute stupidest things with the snakes. They were deliberately antagonizing the world’s most venomous snakes. One guy was almost died. He underestimated the snakes strike range, and the snake caught his shirt. The only thing separating him from feeling the pierce of the fangs was a thin layer of fabric. After that they put a mongoose and a cobra in the same cage. In the wild, these animals are mortal enemies. The mongoose usually ends up eating the cobra. They kept reassuring us that the animals would not be harmed. That was not 100% percent true. They did break the fight up, but only after the mongoose had the cobra’s head in its mouth. That had to hurt. This part of the trip I did not enjoy. I don’t know what I expected to see. I guess I should have taken a cue from the others who passed on it. They all knew what was going to happen. In fact, Amanda told Jeff and Meli that I would come out and say “I wish I hadn’t seen that”. She was almost right. I actually said “That was disturbing”. Close enough. So let’s recap. Parts 1 and 2 of the trip were wonderful. Leg three, not so much. Oh well. You know what they say. Two out of three ain’t bad. - Frank
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
Stephen Leacock (1869 - 1944)