Five Lifetimes - Ni Mingbai Ma?

A good friend once told us it takes five lifetimes to learn Chinese. Well, it has only been about three years, and we are finding those words to be true. Mandarin has four main tones, and it is amazing the ease with which native speakers can pronounce and hear the different tones. Of course, Amanda does really well with this. Me, on the other hand, I seem to have developed a rare form of tone deafness. Whenever we are speaking with our Chinese friends, I will bravely throw out there the words that I have recently learned. They will look at me with a look upon their face that is half blank, half sympathetic smile. So I will repeat myself, much less sure of my linguistic skills. Still they just stare. I usually make one more attempt and then both of us will turn and look at Amanda. Then Amanda, who one of our friends has begun calling "Super Chinese Girl", will say the exact same thing but with the correct tone and say "ni mingbai ma?", which means "do you understand?". They will nod, smile, and say "mingbai". One of the nice things about the Chinese is that they are usually very understanding and rarely laugh out loud at my mistakes. Well, what can I expect? It has not even been one lifetime.

There have been many instances that remind us why we are learning and let us know that we have actually made significant progress. Sometimes I will be listening to Chinese music (Gigi Leung is one of our favorites), watching a Chinese movie (Turn Left, Turn Right or Together we highly recommend), or reading Chinese Hanyu (characters) and I will actually understand what I am hearing or reading. At other times, we will be talking with one of our students totally in Chinese and they will understand. When that happens a special feeling comes over me. I think to myself, "we are actually communicating with someone in one of the hardest languages to learn". Those rare moments of clarity help me to keep going. That, along with the fact that we can really help people. For instance, back in July one of our students was having her first baby. She was at the hospital all alone because her husband had to work. He called us and asked if we could go to see her because she was scared. You can probably understand her fear. She was experiencing extreme pain. She is in a strange land, and does not speak the language well. The doctors and nurses could not really explain to her what was going on and what she needed to do. When we got to the hospital she was nervous, uneasy and totally exhausted because she had not slept. When we got there, you could visibly see her relax. We talked for a while and then just sat with her. Gradually, she drifted off to sleep. We came back to visit when her husband was there, and he too calmed down when we shared some encouraging thoughts with him in his native language. They now have a healthy baby boy named Joshua (Amanda got to name him). All this was accomplished with only a rudimentary grasp of the language. I can't wait until we can actually communicate well. Hopefully, the "Five Lifetimes" can be sped up by our move to China. -Frank

PS - some nice supplemental information on the Chinese language can be found at g75 5/22 p.9 or g84 8/8 p.22

Grasp the subject, the words will follow.
Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC)